When the World Dresses Up: Coping with Grief During Festive Seasons

October is often wrapped in playful costumes, pumpkin spice, and the buzz of Halloween parties. For many, it’s a month of fun and creativity. But if you’re grieving the loss of a beloved pet, the contrast between the festive atmosphere and your inner world can feel especially sharp.

How Halloween and October Festivities Can Intensify Grief

The bright colors, cheerful decorations, and themed events can unintentionally amplify feelings of loneliness or disconnection. Where others might see whimsy, you may feel the absence of your pet’s presence — no excited tail wag at the sound of the doorbell, no curious sniffs at the candy bowl, no goofy pet costume moments.

Even if your loss wasn’t recent, seasonal traditions can bring up fresh waves of longing.

Navigating Social Pressure to “Feel Fun”

In a culture that celebrates togetherness and fun during this season, it’s easy to feel pressure to join in — even when your heart isn’t in it. You might hear invitations like, “It’ll cheer you up!” or “Just come, you’ll feel better.”

It’s okay to decline, or to show up in a way that feels manageable for you. Your grief doesn’t have to be put on pause to match the mood of the month. You can give yourself permission to protect your emotional energy.

Ways to Quietly Honour Your Pet in October

If the thought of full-on celebrations feels overwhelming, you might find comfort in smaller, more personal acts of remembrance:

Place a framed photo of your pet somewhere you’ll see daily.

Keep one of their favorite toys or collars out as a gentle touchstone.

Listen to a song that reminds you of them and allow yourself to feel whatever comes.

Gentle Rituals of Remembrance

Creating small rituals can help you feel connected to your pet’s memory amidst the noise of the season:

An Ofrenda (Altar): Inspired by Día de Los Muertos, set up a small space with photos, candles, flowers, and items that remind you of your pet.

Memory Candle: Light a candle each evening in October, dedicating a moment to reflect on your pet’s life and the love you shared.

Nature Walks: Spend quiet time in nature, dedicating your walk to your pet, perhaps stopping at a spot you used to visit together.

Grief doesn’t follow the calendar, and you don’t need to force yourself into celebration before you’re ready. This October, let your heart lead — whether that means joining the festivities in small ways or creating space for remembrance and rest.