Grief and Gratitude Can Sit at the Same Table

Thanksgiving and other seasonal gratitude traditions often invite us to gather, share stories, and give thanks for what we have. But if you’re grieving the loss of a beloved pet, this time of year can stir up a complex mix of emotions — a tension between the warmth of gratitude and the ache of absence.

Acknowledging the Tension Between Grief and Gratitude

It’s okay to feel both deeply grateful and deeply sad at the same time. Your pet’s absence doesn’t erase the love and joy they brought into your life — but it can make the celebrations feel bittersweet. You might find yourself quietly grieving in the middle of laughter, or noticing that gratitude feels complicated when a seat at the table is empty.

This tension is natural. Holding grief and gratitude together isn’t a contradiction — it’s part of the layered human heart.

Honouring Your Pet’s Memory Amidst Seasonal Traditions

You can participate in Thanksgiving rituals in a way that honours your pet’s unique place in your family and heart. Here are a few ideas:

Dedicate a moment of silence or a toast to your pet before the meal begins.

Share a story or memory about your pet during the gathering.

Create a small memorial on the table — a photo, a collar, or a favourite toy.

These acts invite your pet’s spirit to be part of the celebration, making space for love and loss side by side.

Journaling Prompts and Table Rituals

If you find writing helps you process, try these prompts:

What are three things about my pet that I am grateful for?

How has my pet’s love shaped who I am today?

What feelings does this Thanksgiving bring up for me?

You might also create a ritual at your table, like lighting a candle for your pet or passing around a “memory bowl” where guests can drop notes of their favourite pet moments.

The Myth of “Being Over It” by the Holidays

There’s a common but unhelpful idea that grief should be “over” by a certain time — especially by holidays like Thanksgiving. The reality is that grief doesn’t follow a schedule. It ebbs and flows, sometimes surprising us with fresh waves years after the loss.

It’s okay if your heart still feels heavy, or if you want to step back from festivities altogether. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate this season.