Honouring Their Memory: Rituals and Memorials for Healing

Some of the saddest stories I’ve heard on my journey to becoming a pet loss grief counsellor are from people who didn’t give themselves the time and space to honor their pet’s memory—only to later feel deep regret.

Many have shared that they were simply too consumed by anger or sadness to even think about creating a ritual or memorial. Of course, grief can be paralyzing, especially when the loss is fresh, but please hear me out.

As our understanding of grief deepens in Western culture, we now recognize how important ceremonies and rituals are to the healing process. These moments of remembrance don’t need to be elaborate or perfect. In fact, they are there for just the opposite reason—to give us space to be messy, to express the emotions that feel too big to hold, and to give our love a place to go when it feels like it no longer has one.

When Is the Best Time to Hold a Ritual or Memorial?

The ideal time to put together a ritual or memorial for a pet varies for each person, but generally, within the first few weeks to a few months is best. Here’s why:

• Honors the Grieving Process

Holding a ritual too soon might feel overwhelming when emotions are still raw.

Waiting too long might make it harder to revisit the grief in a meaningful way.

• Creates a Healthy Outlet for Grief

A ritual or memorial helps externalize grief, providing a structured way to process emotions.

It allows for shared mourning with family and friends, reinforcing support.

• Allows for Thoughtfulness

Planning a meaningful tribute—whether it’s a small candle-lighting, scattering ashes, or creating a memory book—takes time and emotional readiness.

Some may want to include personalized elements, such as a favorite toy, a special location, or symbolic actions like planting a tree.

• Prevents Unresolved Grief

Without a moment of acknowledgment, some people struggle with lingering sadness or guilt.

A ritual helps bring a sense of closure and peace.

Ultimately, there is no “right” timeline. Some people find comfort in immediate action, while others need time before they can create a meaningful tribute. The key is to do what feels right for you.

What Would a Memorial or Ritual Look Like for My Pet?

Honoring the memory of a beloved pet is a deeply personal experience.

Here are a few meaningful ways to create a tribute:

Create a Personalized Memorial Space

• Memorial Garden or Tree Planting: Designate a spot in your yard to plant a tree or flowers in your pet’s memory. This living tribute offers a peaceful place for reflection and symbolizes the ongoing cycle of life.

Preserve Cherished Memories

• Photo Album or Scrapbook: Compile photographs and stories into an album, capturing the special moments you shared.

Wearable Memorials

• Engraved Accessories: Items like bracelets, pendants, or keychains can be engraved with your pet’s name, a paw print, or a special date.

A Final Thought

Grieving the loss of a pet is a journey, and there is no single path to healing. Memorials and rituals are not about saying goodbye forever; they are about creating a space where love and memories can continue to live on. However you choose to honor your pet, know that their presence in your life was meaningful—and that love doesn’t end, even when they are no longer physically by your side.